Uhh, you sleep with your kids? “Co-sleeping is for lazy parents. Co-sleeping is for parents who are way too attached to their children. Co-sleeping is dangerous. Co-sleeping is for parents who really don’t love each other and never want to have sex again.” I’ll admit it. I once thought all of these wretched, delusional thoughts about co-sleeping.“Never let your kids sleep in your bed, they’ll never get out!” I was always told.I would always smile proudly like a proud peacock and reply, “Oh, I know! They will NEVER be sleeping in our bed!”
Well, when you become a parent, be prepared. Be well prepared to insert a very large, thick sock (preferably Hanes brand, they’re nice and thick) into your mouth and just keep it there for awhile. You will say and do so many things before becoming a parent that you will later take back. Just call yourself an Indian Giver now, because all bets are off once those babies pop out of your womb.
CO-SLEEPING OR SEX?
I really, genuinely thought that co-sleeping parents made the final decision that they were done having sex, for life. I mean, how could you not be done having sex? Your prime poking paradise was now invaded by these crying, whining little tots. Talk about a buzz kill. No morning delight, no midnight snack, no night-time nasty. It’s just over. It’s all over. Kiss your husband good bye! Well, it’s not true. None of those things are true. (Except the invasion of the crying, whining tots. That’s very true)
Co-Sleeping does not mean you are a lazy parent. Just because you may not have to physically get up and get out of bed when your child is up and crying every 2 hours, you’re still up, and you’re still tending to your child. Your vivid dream of Jesse from Full House pushing you against the refrigerator, glaring deep into your eyes was still abruptly cut short by your child’s tossing and turning.
Co-sleeping does not mean you are overly attached to your child…and even if you are, who cares? Soon you will blink an eye and your child will tell you to stop hugging them in front of their friends, and at least you can be smirk and smile knowing you hugged and squeezed that kid every single night they were kicking you in the head at midnight.
CO-SLEEPING AND SCIENTIFIC BENEFITS
The irony of co-sleeping is that it actually has many scientific benefits, too. According to Dr. Sears and other resources, co-sleeping babies grow up with a higher self-esteem, have less anxiety and become independent sooner. Ain’t that somethin’? So now when your kid is the next Peyton Manning or Mark Zuckerberg, you can tell all their fans, “Yeah, it’s because we co-slept”. (Those were horrible examples by the way, but just roll with them)
Co-sleeping is Not Dangerous.
- The Consumer Product Safety Commission published data that described infant fatalities in adult beds. These same data, however, showed more than 3 times as many crib related infant fatalities compared to adult bed accidents.
- Another study concluded that bed sharing did NOT increase the risk of SIDS, unless the mom was a smoker or abused alcohol. Yeah, you have to put the heavy booze down if you decide to co-sleep. I’m not saying you can’t enjoy a glass or two of wine. (After all, co-sleepers are boring anyway, right? You probably don’t drink at all) But you can’t drink a gallon of White Zin and then still have your wits about you next to your small infant.
SAFE CO-SLEEPING TIPS
- Take precautions to prevent baby from rolling out of bed, even though it is unlikely when baby is sleeping next to mother. Place baby between mother and a guardrail or push the mattress flush against the wall and position baby between mother and the wall. Guardrails enclosed with plastic mesh are safer than those with slats, which can entrap baby’s limbs or head.
- Place baby adjacent to mother, rather than between mother and father. Mothers we have interviewed on the subject of sharing sleep feel they are so physically and mentally aware of their baby’s presence even while sleeping, that it’s extremely unlikely they would roll over onto their baby. (source)
- Place baby to sleep on his/her back.
- Use a large bed, preferably a queen-size or king-size.
PARENTS CAN HAVE BEST OF BOTH WORLDS
Parents Really Do Want To Have Sex Again! (Believe it or not!) Okay, so your kids took up your domain. This was a mutual decision, so don’t get bitter about it. Find some new places, get creative and have fun with it. I’m sure you have a kitchen table, right? How bout the kid’s trampoline? (Yeah, I said it). Don’t get overly concerned with where, just focus on the making love part. Just love, love, love! (Okay how did Teresa from the Real Housewives get in here? Get back to Danbury Correctional, sweetie)
So, the next time you hear that a family co-sleeps, you now know that it’s not because the parents are lazy bums, sick of each other and don’t want to do the dirty….It’s actually because they’re awesome, raising tiny Peyton Mannings and they’re having sex on a trampoline….and you’re not. So there!
Thanks for letting me into your world awhile,
Naturally Nicole XO